When you want a hot meal without a big deal, whataya gonna pick? *SNAP* Hot Pockets! Great jingle! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s a link:
I’ve been a fan of Hot Pockets for roughly 25 years now. My favorite will always be the classic pepperoni pizza. I consumed ginormous quantities of these as a teenager. So much that, for a time, I couldn’t eat them anymore. But now I’m back on the Hot Pocket train and getting my ticket punched on a regular basis.
Did I ever tell you I’m a sucker for Limited Edition items? If not, let it be known henceforth. If you want to sell me something, just smack a NEW or LIMITED EDITION sticker on it and it will call to me with it’s siren song of hope and potential missed opportunity. I was beyond excited to see in my local freezer section not one but TWO limited edition Hot Pockets. We’ll take them in the order that I tried them.
Interesting, huh? Chili Sauce Cheese Dog Hot Pockets! My mind was swimming with the possibilities. If you can’t read the text below the name of the item, here it is:
"Chili Sauce with Pork Franks, Beef, and Chicken Pattie Crumbles and Cheese in a Bun"
Chicken Pattie Crumbles? We’ll see…
When I opened the package I was met with two realizations. First, the bread was noticeably different. See?
Second, and I am still reeling from this…
THERE WAS NO POCKET
That may not seem like a big deal to you. You may be wondering why I even bothered with the all capital letters and putting the sentence in bold type. Let me remind you, though, that this is a Hot Pocket. Key word there. Pocket. This item isn’t a Hot Pocket. It’s just a Hot. There is no Pocket. You can’t call it a Hot Pocket!
After I recovered from this shock to my senses, I let Chef Mic do what he does best and heated this up. I was nervous that the lack of pocket would cause the chili cheese dog goodness to run out, but fortune smiled on me and it stayed intact.
The disappointments continued when I tasted this item. In its defense, the chili sauce, beef and cheese were all very good. Thankfully, the chicken pattie crumbles were benign and did not make a lasting impression. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the pork franks. They just didn’t survive the freezing/reheating process as intended, I’m afraid. The texture was a bit off, and the pork had a somewhat odd taste to it. The best I can say is that it was edible, but I won’t miss it when it departs the frozen food section.
Now to it’s Limited Edition cousin, the BBQ Bacon Burger.
How could this go wrong? “Hamburger, cheese and bacon with sauce in a bun.” Look at the poor Bar-B-Q sauce bottle sitting forlornly in the background, out of focus and deserted while the burgers get the limelight. Is it odd that I noticed that? Maybe…
I opened the package and I was met with this burger bow tie:
I’m sure you’ve already guessed: NO POCKET AGAIN! Maybe it’s something about the texture of the bun that would be compromised by placing it in a pocket, but I just don’t get it! No pocket? Sigh…
These tasted better, thankfully. The burger, cheese and sauce were all acceptable, even good. The bacon was a little chewy, but that is understandable given the nature of freezeing/reheating. I could try these again, but overall I can understand why these are limited editions and not regular items.
Don’t worry Hot Pockets. Though I am disappointed in these items, I will still pick you “when a hungry bunch shows up for lunch” or “when it’s late at night and I want a tasty bite”